5 Love Languages

5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman  

Summary

A fantastic book that pioneered different forms of love. One that I'd recommend for everyone, so important to understand your partner's love language

Rating: 5/5

Notes

You must be willing to learn your partner’s primary love language if you are to be an effective communicator of love (like speaking the same language)

‘Inside every child is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he/she will develop normally but when the love track is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehaviour of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘lovetank’’ - Ross Campbell

The emotional need for love is not just a childhood phenomenon - this follows into love and marriage

Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love

The average lifespan of romantic obsession is 2 years

Love language 1: words of affirmation

  • The tongue has the power of life and death - Solomon
  • Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love
  • When we receive affirming words, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate

To develop an intimate relationship, you must know the other person’s desires

The love language of one person is not necessarily the love language of the other

Love Language 2 - quality time

  • Quality time means giving someone your undivided attention, not just watching TV or being around them
  • A central aspect of quality time is togetherness, meaning focused attention
  • Marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve
  • To learn the language of quality conversations, start with the emotions you feel away from home

Love language 3 - receiving gifts

  • If your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts, become a proficient gift giver. It’s one of the easiest love languages to learn
  • Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts
  • Keep a gift idea note book
  • Try giving your partner a gift a day for a week

Love language 4 - acts of service

  • Acts of service means doing things you know your partner would like you to do. You seek to please her by serving her and express your love by doing things for her
  • Requests give direction to love but demands stop the flow of love
  • What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage

Your partner’s criticism about your behaviour provide the clearest clue to their primary love language

Love language 5 - physical touch

  • Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love
  • If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries
  • Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with physical technique but everything to do with meeting emotional needs
  • For females, sexual desire is rooted in her emotions, not her physiology
  • For males, sexual desire is physically based

Spend time writing down your primary love language then list the other 4 in order of importance

To find out, ask what your partner does that hurts you deeply, what you have most often requested in your partner and in what ways do you regularly express love?

Play the tank check game with your partner - ask them on a scale from 0-10 how filled their love tank is and what you can do to increase it? Then let them do the same

When an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love

Children have the same primary love language as adults

Observe your children. Watch how they express love to others. That is a clue to their love language

Do profile quiz at the end of the book once in a relationship to understand love language

***

Buy the book here

Free E-book download here

How the World Works  
Noam Chomsky         

Summary

A combination of books Chomsky wrote in the 80s and 90s about America and it's role in the world. Fascinating read and insight into one of the great thinkers of the 21st century

Rating: 5/5

Notes

The US invaded Greece in 1947 and supported a horrendous war which led to 160k Greek deaths. This was the model for Vietnam and allowed American business to gain and thrive

US policies in the 3rd world consistently opposed democracies if they couldn’t be controlled as real democracies believe government should respond to the needs of their own population rather than those of US investors

US-run contra forces in the 3rd world isn’t ordering killing - it’s brutal sadistic torture (Nicaragua, El Salvador, Guatemala)

From the Bolshevik revolution in 1917 till the collapse of the communist governments in eastern europe in the 80s, it was possible to justify every US attack as defense against the Soviets

If you want a global system that’s subordinated to the needs of US investors, you can’t let pieces of it wander off. It’s clearly stated in the documents of record

The US wants ‘stability’ meaning security for the upper classes and large foreign businesses

Solid case for impeaching every American president since World War 2 either outright as war criminals or involved in serious war crimes

El Salvador and Nicaragua were not covered by the US media in the 70s when US-supported brutal torture and murder were taking place

In the early 80s, America’s friends slaughtered 10s of thousands of Guatemalans with countless others tortured and raped

After Vietnam, the major US policy goal has been to maximize repression and suffering of countries demonstrated by their violence - blocked other countries from seeking aid

The US regularly carries out or supports aggression

For most of the 20th century, the US was the dominant economic power and used economic warfare as a weapon ranging from illegal embargoes to enforcement of weak IMF rules with their military becoming pre-eminent

The US tries to avoid negotiations with countries as the US fears it will lose and other countries will be better off

When a state has huge debts, it must divert the population from what’s happening and they do this by inspiring fear of our enemies (Russia in Europe)

The real enemy of the US has always been ‘the poor who seek to plunder the rich’. In America, it’s the opposite and has been for generations

‘The war on drugs’ was a manufactured media blitz by the US leadership to distract the population, increase repression in inner cities and build support for attack on civil liberties

The US government blocks international effort to seek peace (Russia and Ukraine)

Major media are large companies owned and interlinked with even larger conglomerates. The market is the advertisers and the product is audiences

The power in the US lies in the hands of people who determine investment decisions as they determine production, distribution and staff the government. They want a passive, quiescent population

The struggle of freedom is never over and requires active and sustained efforts

One important consequence of globalization is it extends the third world model to industrial nations where the average person has their jobs shipped away while the rich and elite continue to amass massive amounts of wealth

We’ve moved to an international state with the IMF, World Bank, G7 & EU, WEF where the general population doesn’t know what’s happening and it doesn’t know it doesn’t know

If the borrowing the US has done was used for constructive purposes like investment or infrastructure, the US would be better off, but it was used to enrich the rich - for consumption, financial manipulation and speculation which are all harmful

The class warfare of the last few decades has successfully weakened popular organizations leaving people to feel isolated

The US is so deeply in debt to the international financial community because of debt that they have a lock on US policy

Many of the large number of security council resolutions vetoed by the US have to do with Israeli aggression or atrocities

Invaders typically use local collaborators to run things for them by playing upon existing rivalries to get onne group to work for them against another

European wars were wars of extermination. If we were to be honest about history, we would simply describe it as barbarian invasion

There has always been racism but it developed as a leading principle of thought in the context of colonialism. 

A standard technique of belief formation goes along with oppression

In the US, you’re not allowed to talk about the class differences, which is the real issue

When the US establishment talks about jobs, it means profits for its corporations

The elite are masters and they follow what Adam Smith said about ‘the vile maxim’ - all for ourselves and nothing for anyone else

People who aren’t owners and investors have nothing much to say in the US

Jefferson warned against banking institutions and corporations and said if they grow, aristocrats would’ve won and the revolution would’ve been lost

The ‘Free market’ is for the poor. We have a dual system - protection for the rich and market discipline for everyone else

There’s been a considerable increase in inequality and has the American society moving towards a third world model, thereby seeing increased crime and signs of social disintegration

A huge area of the media is dedicated to diverting people and making them more stupid and passive

There’s nothing individualistic about corporations who are totalitarian in nature

Free trade agreements result in reduced wages for local employees while predominantly benefiting the rich consumer while also destroying unions

Operation Paper Clip imported large number of known Nazi criminals

The American army’s counter-insurgency literature begins with an analysis of the German experience in Europe written with the co-operation of Naxi officials (instruments of statecraft - book)

US involvement in Chile with the coup in 1973 to reduce social democracy

The threat of a good empire is what the US worried about with reforms on uncontrolled capitalism

The US killed a few million people and destoryed 3 countries during the Vietnam war

A huge amount of business propaganda is to create wants

The answers to solve all these issues is to organize. Being alone you can’t do anything but if you join with other people, you can make changes

Under capitalism, investment is supposed to be as risk free as possible. No competition wants free markets - what they want is power

The government subsidizes corporations’ costs, protects them from market risks and lets them keep the profits

There’s never been much difference between the 2 business parties and the differences are disappearing

The CIA has been involved in drug running for generations (the politics of heroin book)

You need something to frighten people with, to prevent them from paying attention to what’s really happening to them. You have to engender fear and hatred

The first world lives in a highly indoctrinated society

Neoliberalism is nothing more than the imperial formula: free markets for you and plenty of protection for me. The rich would never accept it but they’re happy to impose it on the poor

The UN does mostly what US business wants

‘Politics is the shadow cast on society by big business’ - John Devery

If people dedicate themselves to organizing and activism, we’ll gain access to broader audiences

If you extrapolate to the future, it’s very ugly but the point is it’s not inevitable. It can be changed but we can’t change things till we understand them.

***

Buy the book here

Free E-book download here

5 Love Languages

Notes and Quotes
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5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman  

Summary

A fantastic book that pioneered different forms of love. One that I'd recommend for everyone, so important to understand your partner's love language

Rating: 5/5

Notes

You must be willing to learn your partner’s primary love language if you are to be an effective communicator of love (like speaking the same language)

‘Inside every child is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he/she will develop normally but when the love track is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehaviour of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘lovetank’’ - Ross Campbell

The emotional need for love is not just a childhood phenomenon - this follows into love and marriage

Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love

The average lifespan of romantic obsession is 2 years

Love language 1: words of affirmation

  • The tongue has the power of life and death - Solomon
  • Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love
  • When we receive affirming words, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate

To develop an intimate relationship, you must know the other person’s desires

The love language of one person is not necessarily the love language of the other

Love Language 2 - quality time

  • Quality time means giving someone your undivided attention, not just watching TV or being around them
  • A central aspect of quality time is togetherness, meaning focused attention
  • Marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve
  • To learn the language of quality conversations, start with the emotions you feel away from home

Love language 3 - receiving gifts

  • If your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts, become a proficient gift giver. It’s one of the easiest love languages to learn
  • Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts
  • Keep a gift idea note book
  • Try giving your partner a gift a day for a week

Love language 4 - acts of service

  • Acts of service means doing things you know your partner would like you to do. You seek to please her by serving her and express your love by doing things for her
  • Requests give direction to love but demands stop the flow of love
  • What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage

Your partner’s criticism about your behaviour provide the clearest clue to their primary love language

Love language 5 - physical touch

  • Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love
  • If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries
  • Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with physical technique but everything to do with meeting emotional needs
  • For females, sexual desire is rooted in her emotions, not her physiology
  • For males, sexual desire is physically based

Spend time writing down your primary love language then list the other 4 in order of importance

To find out, ask what your partner does that hurts you deeply, what you have most often requested in your partner and in what ways do you regularly express love?

Play the tank check game with your partner - ask them on a scale from 0-10 how filled their love tank is and what you can do to increase it? Then let them do the same

When an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love

Children have the same primary love language as adults

Observe your children. Watch how they express love to others. That is a clue to their love language

Do profile quiz at the end of the book once in a relationship to understand love language

***

Buy the book here

Free E-book download here