The Art of Seduction
Robert Greene
Summary
Using examples from history, Robert walks through how to seduce anyone and use their psychology for your benefit
Rating: 3/5
Notes
Nothing will bring your more power in the world than the art of seduction
Once you understand your target’s psychology, you can cast a magical spell
Getting into the targets skin is the first move, understand how they see the world
Seducers are amoral in their approach to life, it’s all a game
Every solution has 2 elements: first what is seductive about you and the target, and the actions that will penetrate their defenses
The siren
- She must have men chase her and a bit of danger
- She creates fear by changing moods, keeping him off balance and occasionally intimidating him
- The most important element is physical
- Voice: Calm and unhurried
- Body/clothing that dazzles
- Movement and demeanour: gracefully and not hurried
The Rake
- Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman
- For women, the weakness is language and words
- It is tone that matters, not context. Give your words a loft, spiritual and literary flavour
- You must convey the sense of risk and darkness
- You must be able to abandon yourself to the moment
- Danger and taboo appeal to a repressed side in a women
- Ability to make women want to reform him
- Greatest asset is his reputation. Embrace your bad name
The ideal lover
- Study her, go along with her moods, find out what’s missing in her life and provide it
- You have to focus intensely on the other person
- Appeal to their better selves, higher standards of beauty. Make them feel elevated, lofty and spiritual
- Key is ability to observe: focus on the tone of their voice, not their conscious behaviour
- Hint at something for them to aspire to, reveal your faith in untapped potential
The Dandy:
- They are fluid and don’t conform to expectations often switching between masculine and feminine
- Poke fun at trends and styles, go in your own direction
- They don’t try hard for attention, it comes to them
The natural
- They have a fearlessness that most adults have lost
- Some sort of natural talent
- Learn to play with your image, never taking it too seriously
The coquette
- The ability to delay satisfaction and never offer it to the person
- We are only excited by what is desired by us, which we can’t possess fully
- Make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction
- Hot and cold, hot and cold
- Remain elusive and make others pursue you
- The key lies not in the tease but the step back, the emotional withdrawal
The Cleaner
- Learn to cast a spell by aiming at people’s vanity and self esteem
- Make your target the centre of attention
- Be a source of pleasure
- Lull your victims into ease and comfort
- Make yourself useful
- Time is the greatest weapon you have, keep in mind your long term goal
The charismatic
- Unusual confidence, mysterious, expresses a vision
- Purpose: people want to know you have a plan
- Mystery: add richness to your interactions
- Eloquence
- Larger than life presence
- Uninhibited, vulnerability, adventurous
- Express what others are afraid to express
The star
- Must stand out
- Show people peeks of your private life
- You are an actor so mold your image
Avoid anti-seducers, those too self involved and insecure
Suffocators: they cling too much to fill a void. Never be involved with them
Tightened: don’t be too cheap w/ time and money
Seduction is a game of attention. Distance and inattention creates the opposite effect and can be used as a tactic
18 types of people
- Reformed rake/siren
- The disappointed cleaner: give them part of their dream
- Pampered royal: recognize through turmoil in past, spoilt children
- New Prude
- Crushed star: make them the centre of attention
- The novice
- The conqueror
- The exotic fetishist
- The Drama queen
- The professor
- The beauty: validate her intelligence, skills and character
- Aging babies
- The rescuer
- The worshipper
- The Rave
- The lonely leader
- The floating gender
Mystery is the lifeblood of seduction, never settle into a comfortable routine
4 phases: getting them to think of you, gaining access to their emotions, going deeper into their unconscious and inducing physical surrender
Phase 1 - stirring interest and desire
1. Chase the right person: recognize the right target by the effect they have on you
2. Create a false sense of security - approach indirectly
- Learn about them and make them think they’re the ones seducing
- Make them come to you by giving them space
- Never mention love or emotions as they’ll begin to wonder
- Infiltrate through other people if you can
- Disguise your feelings and let them figure it out
3. Send mixed signals
- Show things that go against your physical appearance. Create paradox
4. Appear to be an object of desire - create triangles
- We are attracted to those attracted by others
- If there’s a women you’re interested in, pay attention to her sister
5. Create a need - stir anxiety and discontent
- Stir within them feelings of discontent
- Bring their doubts and anxieties to the surface
- Create a ‘need’ in your victim aiming at a chink in their self esteem
- Take aim at your victim’s past
6. Master the art of insuation
- Plant ideas in people’s minds by dropping hints, bold language followed by retractions
- Drop hints into conversations and cover them up, settlements where you quickly apologize
7. Foster their spirit
- To get people out of their shell, become more like them. Mirror them
- Focus intense attention on them and the person they want to be
8. Create temptation
- Create a glimpse of the pleasure to come. Find that weakness and hint you can lead them
- First stimulate desire then make it clear your target can’t have you
- Create inner conflict of excitement and interest, but you are unavailable
- Give them a temptation tailored to their weakness
Phase 2: Lead astray - create pleasure & confusion:
9. Keep them in suspense - what comes next?
- Behave in a way that keeps them wondering, give a thrill and change direction
- You need to create constant tension and suspense, nothing is predictable
10. Use words to sow confusion
- What can you say that has a pleasant affect on your listeners?
- The person unable to write letters and notes never becomes a dangerous seducer
- Focus on feelings and sensations, not real info. Create emotion in the reader
- Flattery is seductive language in its purest form and aim at their insecurities
- Appeal to people’s hearts rather than their heads
- Use affirmative language, never ‘I believe’ ‘In my opinion’
11. Pay attention to detail
- Fill people’s senses with details, little rituals. Never ignore details
- The more you get them to focus on the little things, the less they notice the bigger goal
- A gift has immense power but the gesture and emotion is far more powerful
- Never tell someone what you are feeling, let it come out in your gestures
12. Poeticize your presence
- Familiarity destroys seduction. Never be ordinary or limited
- Stir a bit of doubt every time you see someone so they can’t stop thinking of you
- Find a way to share big experiences w/ your target so they remember you
13. Disarm through strategic weakness and vulnerability
- Play the victim and transform your target’s sympathy into love
- Make the other person feel stronger, more in control of things
14. Confuse desire and reality - the perfect illusion
- Create the illusion that they can live their dreams with you
- Feed the emotions which have least control. Find out their unsatisfied desires
- Start w/ the appearance of normalcy and then set up the illusion
- Role playing is immensely pleasurable
15. Isolate the victim
- Slowly lure your target away from affairs that fill their mind. Offer them something erotic/unfamiliar, be different in your manners and appearance
- Isolate people from their safety nets, get them to spend time in your environment
- Crowd out the past w/ attention on the present
Phase 3
16. Prove yourself
- Resistance is a sign that other people’s emotions are engaged
- 2 ways to prove yourself: spontaneous action with a favour and go beyond what’s expected, or brave deed
- Make your deed as dashing and chivalrous as possible
- Show that you have a reckless streak, a daring nature
- Not only what you do matters, but how you do it
- Make people compete for your attention, make them prove themselves in some way
17. Effect a regression
- Give people a feeling similar to that protected/dependent feeling of childhood
- Transference is a powerful way of creating emotional attachment. Make them talk about their childhood and pay attention to their voice/anything that makes them emotional
- Listen closely for recurring themes/stories
- Discover what your target never got as a kid
- Infantile regression: reproduce a sense of unconditional love a mother has for his kid
- Oedipal regression: play a parental role but also scold/instill discipline
- Ego ideal regression: reproduce the innocent mood of youthful infatuation
- Reversal parental regression: here you play the role of a child
- Play the role of the therapist, let your targets open up to you
18. Stir up the transgressive and taboo
- Hint that you have a cruel streak, a dark side
- The moment people feel something is forbidden, part of them wants it
- Make yourself seem forbidden by engaging in somewhat dark behaviour
- Tease your targets
- Create public moments in which you know something that others do not
19. Use spiritual lures
- Play up your divine qualities, speak of the stars/destiny
- Don’t focus on physical but focus it on something beautiful in the world
- Employ the spiritual strategy as close to your bold move as possible
20. Mix pleasure w/ pain
- Instead of overwhelming them w/ niceness, try inflicting some pain
- Create the excitement of fear
- Create moments of sadness and enough highs/lows
- Alternate b/w harshness and kindness
- Create tension so you can release it
- Never let them get too comfortable with you. Show them coldness/flashes of anger
21. Give them space to fall - the pursuer is pursued
- Once under your spell, take a step back and let them chase you
- Always best to keep some distance from your targets
- When they are ripe with desire and interest, take a step back. Be distant
- Reveal your interests in your target sexually but assume nothing when you see them
- Shower your targets w/ affection and then step away
22. Use physical lures
- You must make your body glow w/ desire for your target. Appeal to their senses
- Let go of your own inhibitors, own doubts. Exhibit a lightness of spirit
- Be undistracted, present in the moment and the target will follow suit
- Make the look short and to the point and then look away. Close the distance and make the target feel alluring
23. Master the art of the bold move
- Once your victim desires you, overwhelm them with a bold move
- Boldness is required at the end, no matter what
- Don’t plan it in advance, be attentive to feasible circumstances
- Infect the target with emotions you can portray as they often mirror
24. Beware the after effects
- If you are to part, make the sacrifices swift and sudden
- Never let the other person take you for granted. Use absences, create pain/conflict
- Maintain mystery, maintain lightness (don’t try to change your victims)
- Avoid the slow burnout. Break it quickly
- Create theatrical effects. Keep it crowded. Distort their sense of time. Create moments
***
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How the World Works
Noam Chomsky
Summary
A combination of books Chomsky wrote in the 80s and 90s about America and it's role in the world. Fascinating read and insight into one of the great thinkers of the 21st century
Rating: 5/5
Notes
The US invaded Greece in 1947 and supported a horrendous war which led to 160k Greek deaths. This was the model for Vietnam and allowed American business to gain and thrive
US policies in the 3rd world consistently opposed democracies if they couldn’t be controlled as real democracies believe government should respond to the needs of their own population rather than those of US investors
US-run contra forces in the 3rd world isn’t ordering killing - it’s brutal sadistic torture (Nicaragua, El Salvador, Guatemala)
From the Bolshevik revolution in 1917 till the collapse of the communist governments in eastern europe in the 80s, it was possible to justify every US attack as defense against the Soviets
If you want a global system that’s subordinated to the needs of US investors, you can’t let pieces of it wander off. It’s clearly stated in the documents of record
The US wants ‘stability’ meaning security for the upper classes and large foreign businesses
Solid case for impeaching every American president since World War 2 either outright as war criminals or involved in serious war crimes
El Salvador and Nicaragua were not covered by the US media in the 70s when US-supported brutal torture and murder were taking place
In the early 80s, America’s friends slaughtered 10s of thousands of Guatemalans with countless others tortured and raped
After Vietnam, the major US policy goal has been to maximize repression and suffering of countries demonstrated by their violence - blocked other countries from seeking aid
The US regularly carries out or supports aggression
For most of the 20th century, the US was the dominant economic power and used economic warfare as a weapon ranging from illegal embargoes to enforcement of weak IMF rules with their military becoming pre-eminent
The US tries to avoid negotiations with countries as the US fears it will lose and other countries will be better off
When a state has huge debts, it must divert the population from what’s happening and they do this by inspiring fear of our enemies (Russia in Europe)
The real enemy of the US has always been ‘the poor who seek to plunder the rich’. In America, it’s the opposite and has been for generations
‘The war on drugs’ was a manufactured media blitz by the US leadership to distract the population, increase repression in inner cities and build support for attack on civil liberties
The US government blocks international effort to seek peace (Russia and Ukraine)
Major media are large companies owned and interlinked with even larger conglomerates. The market is the advertisers and the product is audiences
The power in the US lies in the hands of people who determine investment decisions as they determine production, distribution and staff the government. They want a passive, quiescent population
The struggle of freedom is never over and requires active and sustained efforts
One important consequence of globalization is it extends the third world model to industrial nations where the average person has their jobs shipped away while the rich and elite continue to amass massive amounts of wealth
We’ve moved to an international state with the IMF, World Bank, G7 & EU, WEF where the general population doesn’t know what’s happening and it doesn’t know it doesn’t know
If the borrowing the US has done was used for constructive purposes like investment or infrastructure, the US would be better off, but it was used to enrich the rich - for consumption, financial manipulation and speculation which are all harmful
The class warfare of the last few decades has successfully weakened popular organizations leaving people to feel isolated
The US is so deeply in debt to the international financial community because of debt that they have a lock on US policy
Many of the large number of security council resolutions vetoed by the US have to do with Israeli aggression or atrocities
Invaders typically use local collaborators to run things for them by playing upon existing rivalries to get onne group to work for them against another
European wars were wars of extermination. If we were to be honest about history, we would simply describe it as barbarian invasion
There has always been racism but it developed as a leading principle of thought in the context of colonialism.
A standard technique of belief formation goes along with oppression
In the US, you’re not allowed to talk about the class differences, which is the real issue
When the US establishment talks about jobs, it means profits for its corporations
The elite are masters and they follow what Adam Smith said about ‘the vile maxim’ - all for ourselves and nothing for anyone else
People who aren’t owners and investors have nothing much to say in the US
Jefferson warned against banking institutions and corporations and said if they grow, aristocrats would’ve won and the revolution would’ve been lost
The ‘Free market’ is for the poor. We have a dual system - protection for the rich and market discipline for everyone else
There’s been a considerable increase in inequality and has the American society moving towards a third world model, thereby seeing increased crime and signs of social disintegration
A huge area of the media is dedicated to diverting people and making them more stupid and passive
There’s nothing individualistic about corporations who are totalitarian in nature
Free trade agreements result in reduced wages for local employees while predominantly benefiting the rich consumer while also destroying unions
Operation Paper Clip imported large number of known Nazi criminals
The American army’s counter-insurgency literature begins with an analysis of the German experience in Europe written with the co-operation of Naxi officials (instruments of statecraft - book)
US involvement in Chile with the coup in 1973 to reduce social democracy
The threat of a good empire is what the US worried about with reforms on uncontrolled capitalism
The US killed a few million people and destoryed 3 countries during the Vietnam war
A huge amount of business propaganda is to create wants
The answers to solve all these issues is to organize. Being alone you can’t do anything but if you join with other people, you can make changes
Under capitalism, investment is supposed to be as risk free as possible. No competition wants free markets - what they want is power
The government subsidizes corporations’ costs, protects them from market risks and lets them keep the profits
There’s never been much difference between the 2 business parties and the differences are disappearing
The CIA has been involved in drug running for generations (the politics of heroin book)
You need something to frighten people with, to prevent them from paying attention to what’s really happening to them. You have to engender fear and hatred
The first world lives in a highly indoctrinated society
Neoliberalism is nothing more than the imperial formula: free markets for you and plenty of protection for me. The rich would never accept it but they’re happy to impose it on the poor
The UN does mostly what US business wants
‘Politics is the shadow cast on society by big business’ - John Devery
If people dedicate themselves to organizing and activism, we’ll gain access to broader audiences
If you extrapolate to the future, it’s very ugly but the point is it’s not inevitable. It can be changed but we can’t change things till we understand them.
***
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